Author Archives: Tori Lyn

Netflix And Milk Bones: 5 Reasons Why A Dog is the Only Companion You’ll Need During Cuffing Season

The weather is getting colder and the Netflix subscriptions have picked up, so it must officially be time for Cuffing Season. Defined by Millennials as the time to find a Significant Other or more commonly, a Friend with Benefits to spend the winter months with (only to ditch them when the frost begins to thaw), I liken the scramble of linking up with someone during this season to the desperation found within The Hunger Games – ‘May the odds be ever in your favor.’

Though it’s nice to have someone to spend the holidays with, for some, cuffing season can bring way too much drama. That’s why instead of linking up with a human this winter and enduring all the questions, rules, and confusion that come with it, you can choose to spend this season cuddled up with someone that will always hold you to the highest regard, no matter the circumstances. And that someone is a dog. Spending cuffing season with your dog will not only leave the drama out of your life and remove the inevitable awkwardness that comes with parting ways in the spring, but will also allow you to actually enjoy your holiday without any added relationship pressure.

A Dog Is Always Happy to See You
Whether you’ve been gone for 6 hours or 6 minutes, a dog will always be ecstatic to see you. The pure elation shown in their body language as they lay their eyes on you will make you feel like the most important person in the world. Furthermore, this reaction will continue every single time they greet you, no matter what kind of day they’ve had. All it takes is for you to show your face, and they’re suddenly thrilled, showering you with open paws, and lots of kisses. Forget bad moods or even worse, a multitude of other potential girls that could come with having a friend with benefits during the winter months. Your dog will always choose you first to hang out with, even if you do nothing but lay around on the couch catching up on reality shows.

A Dog Won’t Make You Meet the Family
When you’re cuffed up with your pup instead of a random dude, there’s never any added pressure that comes with meeting the family. Regardless of how much time you spend together, you’ll never have that feeling of embarrassment and discomfort that sets in after a few months once you realize you’ve never been introduced to anyone else in his life, whether it be extended family or roommates. Also, when you choose a dog instead of a boy, you’ll never feel the awkwardness of running into someone you know while you both are out together, stuttering as you attempt to introduce them as your “special” friend. Or should you have said boyfriend? Your dog will happily be down to meet new people, put his best paw forward, and reserve all judgment.

A Dog Will Never Pressure You to DTR
Another perk of replacing your dog with a potential cuff mate for the winter is the fact that you’ll never feel the pressure of defining the relationship, or having the dreaded, “So…what are we?” conversation after you’ve spent a few weeks together. For once you can have a relationship with very little expectation, and your dog will be completely okay with it. In all honesty the only thing your dog will most likely pressure you for is another serving of dog food or a tasty treat. As long as you continue being the hand that feeds them, they’ll love you for eternity, and you won’t have to wonder how to introduce them and whether or not you should be changing your relationship status.

A Dog Will Always Let You Vent
Remember that time you and your best friend weren’t speaking so you sub-tweeted each other for 12 hours? Then, you were so upset by her Marilyn Monroe memes that you desperately needed to unload all your drama on your boyfriend? Do you also remember him not caring? The best part about having a dog is that fact that they’re down to listen to every single detail of your dramatic life. Sure, they may temporarily rest their eyes while you get into the gritty portion of the story, but they’ll remain snuggled up next to you as a constant, physical being, twitchy ears and all. Due to the fact that this season is strictly for “cuffing”, all friendship and family-related discussions are usually off limits which can leave you frustrated with nobody to talk to. When you have a dog, however, you can bust out the tissues and the fuzzy blankets, stroke their soft fur, and be assured that they will be there to listen, and occasionally lick your hand in support.

A Dog Is Always Down to Watch Chick Flicks
Cuffing season and Netflix usually go hand in hand, and since your plan is to ditch your cuff mate in the spring, any type of romance is usually sparse as you try your best to remain emotionally unavailable. Due to this, you may find yourself settling for a scary movie or action flick in order to keep the ‘feels’ at bay. Your dog however, will always be an infinitely better movie-partner, because as long as it involves you and cuddling on the couch, they’re down to watch literally anything. Whether you’re tearing up as Jamie and Landon say their vows at the end of A Walk to Remember, or swooning over Leonardo DiCaprio as he announces he’s King of the World in Titanic, your dog will never judge your movie choice, or your ugly crying.

Though there’s a lot of pressure around cuffing season to find someone to cuddle up with during the cold winter months, in most cases the relationships are fleeting, causing lots of confusion and occasional heartache once the snow begins to melt. By completely opting out of this silly seasonal occasion and instead bringing a fur baby into your life as the ultimate companion, you’ll get to dodge the drama and awkward introductions, and spend the winter months watching the snow fall with a snuggly animal by your side. Happy Cuffing Season, y’all.

Fall Feels: 6 Autumn Inspired Activities To Do With Your Significant Other

Put away the BBQs and the crop tops, because summer has finally come to a close. Though we have to bid farewell to the beach weather, the decrease in temperature and beautiful September scenery gives us various new activities to experience with our loved ones. Whether it’s hiking a trail and taking in the beauty of the fall foliage or cuddling up on the couch with some hot apple cider and a movie, the ‘feels’ of Fall and the overwhelming amount of romantic activities will be sure to cure your end-of-summer blues.

Apple Picking for Two
Who doesn’t love dressing in flannel, lacing up some cute boots and indulging in some delicious Macintosh apples? Apple picking will always be a fun and romantic activity for couples of all ages as you walk arm in arm underneath the bountiful fruit trees. Whether you’re on your first date or your fiftieth, exploring the wilderness and grabbing perfectly plump apples to taste-test is a fruit-inspired fairytale for any September afternoon.

Embrace The Foliage
The end of summer means the decrease in temperatures, which will prove to be beneficial as you and your significant other pack a picnic, put a leash on your dog, and head towards the great outdoors. If you’re lucky enough to find a perfect cliff-side view, the blankets of red, yellow and orange emanating from the trees will be a breathtaking sight. If you don’t live near any hiking paths (or aren’t the woodsy type) a simple evening walk around your neighborhood after work will also be a romantic activity you can enjoy together. Instead of rushing home after a long humid day to the comfort of your AC, you’ll be able to take the long way home, soaking in the scenic views and flooding your Instagram feed with foliage photos.

Indulge In Seasonal Food
Looking to whip up a dish together using some local ingredients? There’s no better time to go fresh-food shopping than during the fall months. Spend your Sunday traipsing through the various Farmer’s Markets in your area and indulge in some local eats. Scoop up a bag of crisp Macintosh favorites for some apple crisp, fresh rutabagas and potatoes for an autumn-inspired stew, or broccoli and carrots for a beautifully decorated Fall salad. Whatever your choice, a romantic dinner cooked together with a bottle of some delicious white wine and the fall foliage as your backdrop has Nicholas Sparks written all over it.

Passionate Pumpkin Carving
If you and your significant other haven’t been dating long, pumpkin carving will be a great way to really get to know them in depth. Does he have the carving skills of a Samurai, creating intricate patterns that will be beautifully illuminated in the outer core? Or is he more of a novice, carving a simple Jack O’ Lantern with triangles for eyes? Whatever the outcome, pumpkin carving is an enjoyable activity you can both experience together. Spread out the newspapers, have a few seasonal beers, and get to know one another while you’re wrist-deep in pumpkin goop. If all goes well, you can even save the pumpkin seeds, sprinkle a little cinnamon and sugar on them, and cook them in the oven for a well-deserved post-carving treat.

All Aboard The Hayride
Whether it’s part of your apple-picking adventure or a solo experience, hayrides are perfect fall activities do to with your partner. Throw on a sweatshirt and some boots and enjoy a scenic ride while listening to Fall-inspired tales from the driver, or ghost stories, if you opted for the ‘haunted hayride’ option. Cuddling up next to one another with a hot apple cider in hand while the tractor tour weaves in and out of the woods is a great way to get a breathtaking view of the beautiful scenery while simultaneously enjoying the outdoors together.

Grab The Snacks – It’s Movie Night
The ’31 Days of Halloween’ viewing event is nostalgia in the form of some of our favorite movies we all know and love. Though there’s a large amount of fall activities to experience outdoors, sometimes after a long week there’s nothing more satisfying than cracking open some beverages and a bag of candy while watching a Halloween-inspired movie together. With a fuzzy blanket to keep both of you warm while you watch the antics of the Sanderson Sisters, this underrated Fall activity will prove to be the easiest, and sometimes most enjoyable activity of them all.

Despite some disappointment about the end of our beloved summer, Fall always replaces our devastation with excitement of all the new activities we can experience with our loved ones. Whether you’re in a long-term relationship, have just started dating, or have only made it as far as stalking them on Instagram, there’s no shortage of fun to be had during this beautiful season.

The 5 Evening Regrets of #SundayFunday

Peaks Island Reggae Fest

Peaks Island Reggae Fest

Ahhh, Sunday funday. The rhyming phrase we all know, appreciate, and love to use as a hashtag. With warm weather making an appearance (FINALLY) and outdoor patios sprouting up like wildflowers, Sunday is a time celebrated by many as a day of day-drinking debauchery, rooftop recklessness, bar bites, and lots of fireball shots.

What begins as a day of carefree summer festivities, crop tops and liquor indiscreetly hidden in water bottles (since when is water brown?) can sometimes, however, turn into a migraine, daytime spins, and passing out by 5 PM. Though the phrase YOLO can be heard reverberating off the walls of the bar as you toast to your friends and scarf down those $3 tacos, day drinking can and often does end up catapulting you down a slippery slope that leads to you in your cubicle Monday morning, chugging Gatorade and wondering when the Advil will kick in. Despite feeling ready to take on the world as you consume alcoholic beverages during the day, as the evening sets in with intensity, you come to realize there are actual very significant regrets that we only seem to acknowledge once the sun has gone down.

Food, Food, Everywhere!
One of the biggest regrets during the evening of a reckless Sunday Funday is undoubtedly the decisions regarding food that are usually made in a tequila-shot stupor. For some reason the alcohol causes your appetite to become insatiable and no amount of oysters or hot wings can cure the ravenous beast inside of you. With the amazing bar specials ($3 for Chips & Guac!??!) and the sunshine, adding a giant, meaty taco to your day would quite literally create an unbeatable trifecta of happiness. It’s like the more you drink, the better the food begins to taste, and soon anything from a handful of your friends French fries to a double brownie sundae is up for grabs. It’s Sunday Funday after all, carbs don’t count! It’s not until your stomach begins to turn on you as you lay down for bed later that night that you realize perhaps you could have gone without those mozzarella sticks from that random food truck that had no line. Monday should be fun. Hopefully you don’t share a cubicle.

Fireball Forever
Though Sunday Funday usually means all caution is thrown to the wind, many of us will begin the day trying to stick to the “safer” alcohol choices, taking heed at the fact that day drinking and night drinking are two different things entirely. Due to this, beer, wine coolers, and other generally safe mixed drinks are usually how one will begin their day, with the hopes of catching nothing more than a light buzz while enjoying the festivities.
However, this isn’t always as easy as it seems. Occasionally, the DJ will play a song that you absolutely love, you’ll run into old friends from high school, or you’ll just get the urge to take a shot of something to liven up the party. Unfortunately, I liken shots to pringles in the fact that you can never have just one, and before you know it, you’ve traded out your baybreeze for tequila shots and raspberry kamikazes. What started as a fun but calm afternoon out in the sun has transformed into a remake of your spring break from 2008, and things begin to quickly turn sideways. Furthermore, you suddenly forget that not everyone celebrates Sunday Funday with boatloads of alcohol and slurring, including the family of four next to you. You know you’ve taken “turn up” to another level when the family has to ask the waiter to move tables because they don’t want their 10 year old watching your terrible choreography to Rihanna’s “Pour It Up”. Probably should have just stuck to beer.

Crop Tops and Flower Crowns
A crop top and shorts, a summer dress, and some type of flower crown is always an outfit necessity when it comes to Sunday Funday. For some reason, we all feel the need to channel our inner flower child and look as summery as possible with the hopes of slaying the Instagram Selfie game. However, as the afternoon wears on and the drinks begin to flow more freely, our cute ensemble slowly disintegrates into a sloppy college girl experiencing Coachella for the first time. The flower crown once woven delicately in our hair is now a tangled rats nets that seems to be attracting bugs, our glistening stomach has been taken prisoner by 3 burritos and now makes us look 5 months pregnant, and the shimmery makeup that was immpeccable at noon is now streaming down our face with the sweat from 90 degree weather. Even Instagram is throwing its hands up in frustration because the filters just seem to enhance your sloppiness. Blame it on the humidity, the shots, or the fish tacos, but the flower child you were at noon has now been transformed into the Bride of Frankenstein.

Social Media Fails
Let’s not pretend like #SundayFunday isn’t one of our most frequent hashtags of the summer. Not only is it super fun to take pictures of the beautiful views we have while we’re day drinking with our friends, but if you’re not putting the hashtag in there, will anyone even know it’s Sunday and you’re having fun? However, what begins as innocent selfies and group photos with your squad can quickly go left as the shots begin to flow and the Snapchat Stories and Instagram videos become more fervent. This makes for really embarrassing explanations to your coworkers and other friends on Monday morning when they see a video of you funneling a beer while wearing a bikini and a flower crown at 1:30 in the afternoon, captioning you as the “Funnel Queen”. Attempting to explain your way out of this to your boss when you get to work isn’t really something you had planned for your Monday morning. Maybe you can still find a way to add the Funnel Queen accomplishment to your resume?

Make It Rain
One of the largest regrets of Sunday Funday has to be the atrocious amount of money spent after 6 hours of day drinking. For some reason it seems as though the specials are just too good to pass up and you rejoice in the opportunity to eat lots of food and drink lots of alcohol while the sun is shining. Before you know it, you’re making it rain over multiple drinks and plates of food, unaware that these indulgences will eventually add up. Furthermore, running out of cash is never an issue when there’s an ATM close by. Who cares if its an extra $4 to withdraw money? It’s Sunday Funday after all! Regret usually begins to seep in around the same time that you begin to sober up as you look through your purse for cab money only to find loose change and grease-stained receipts. Where was that emergency $20 you hid in your birth control packet? Or did you use that to buy another round of Oysters? One thing is for certain; it’s never fun to look at your bank account the morning after Sunday Funday, and is most often followed by the popular response of “Where did all my money go? Why did I spend so much at that food truck?!” #SundayFundayProbz

Despite the inevitable regrets that are experienced as the day comes to a close, Sunday Funday is a rite of passage during the Summer months as we rejoice with friends, enjoy cheap eats, and drink the day away in the sunshine. Depending on where you live, you may only get 3 months of absolute warm weather, patio seating, and afternoon delights so it is imperative to enjoy each day to the fullest, even if that means you will be filled with extreme regret and a massive hangover on Monday morning. As long as your prepared for the risks, regrets, and annoying over-usage of the #SundayFunday hashtag, you will undoutedly have a fantastic afternoon of day drinking…until you realize that you’ve had way too many fireball shots, spent all your money, and tomorrow is Monday. Happy Summer!

Ink My Whole Body: 6 Problems We’ll Have When We’re Old That Have Nothing to Do With Tattoos

It’s no secret that tattoos are a controversial issue between generations. While some look at it as a beautiful way to express themselves through art, others look at it as a shameful way to ruin a perfectly unmarked body. The debates over tattoos, placement, style, color, and the fact that they’re permanent have been ongoing for years, and will most likely continue. In my generation, you’d be hard-pressed to find someone who doesn’t have at least one tattoo, and furthermore it’d be likely that they’ve all heard at least some form of the same resounding question from the naysayers of ink:

“But what are you going to do about your tattoo when you’re older?”

Though I currently have only 2 tattoos that are both quite small, I am looking forward to getting more in the future and am fascinated by the overall art of tattooing. I think the choices we make with our own body are just that – our choices, and I can’t help but feel sorry for those who spew negativity and look down on individuals who have made the decision to get inked. The concern and dismay that myself and my friends have experienced regarding our choice of getting tattoos comes mostly from those who are confused as to what we will do about them once we get older. How will we explain it? We can’t possibly think it will still be cool when we’re 80, can we?

I don’t know about everyone else, but I’ve come to realize I really don’t think my choice of tattoos will be the worst of my problems when I am old and gray, as I will be dealing with many other changes, both physically, and mentally, and experiencing a whole new world as a ‘Senior Citizen’. It seemed only seemed necessary to compile a list of all the other problems I’m sure I’ll endure when I’m elderly that will pale in comparison against the tattoo I got when I was 19. Long story short, I think I’m going to have a sh*tload of other problems that have nothing to do with permanent ink.

Do Your Boobs Hang Low, Do They Wobble To And Fro?
I know, I know, but I had to start with this one. I mean let’s be realistic…boobs just can’t stay perky forever. Eventually, like me after I graduated college, they will begin their downward spiral. Unless you make the decision to start a new relationship with silicone or saline and bring your sag back to life, you can say bye-bye to your twin besties. Of course it’s only natural, and is something that comes with age, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to happily accept it. Did anyone ever see the movie The Sweetest Thing? Cameron Diaz’s character noticed her boobs had changed from the age of 22 to the age of 28, so what does that mean for the rest of us!? I’m pretty sure the thought of having boobs that a push-up bra can’t even save when I’m 80 is a lot more worrisome than the butterfly tattoo I got when I was 20.

Speak Into My Good Ear, Child
While some people may be in their 80s and have still maintained their fantastic hearing, I already know this will not be the case for me. Various concerts, loud, blaring headphones, and insisting on dancing right next to the speakers at the club will prove to do me in once I reach senior status. In fact, the constant ringing in my ears I currently experience after a loud night of booty shaking with the thumping of the bass tells me my hearing loss has already begun. This is just another problem that will be a lot more annoying than the giant BatWing tattoo you got on your leg after the Dark Knight came out. So what if it looks more like a giant bruise now that you’re old and saggy? It’s not like you can hear what anyone is saying about it anyways!

Do You See What I See?
With the ever-constant advancement of Technology, iPads, Tablets, Kindles, and iPhones have become the forefront of many of our lives. Furthermore, some of us spend all day looking at the bright screens of our computers or phones, whether it be for personal enjoyment, or work-related instances. When we’re almost a century old I highly doubt we’re going to be embarrassed about the flower tattoo on our foot and more concerned with what the f*ck is actually in front of us while we’re driving down the street. Is that a bird, or a person? Maybe it’s a plane..? Sometimes in serious cases when safety is a factor, senior citizens are required to re-take their Driving Test. I had to take it twice when I was 16, can you imagine how many times I’ll have to take it when I’m 86?

Oops I Crapped My Pants
Getting old…I mean really old…sometimes means you stop depending on your body to tell you when it’s time to use the bathroom and instead you begin to depend…on your Depends. Adult diapers seem to be the new normal for some senior citizens, and I think it may be the most fearful inevitability of them all. The only positive about sh*tting your pants in public is the fact that it’s less shocking because you’re old. People will begin to expect it. However, the thought of walking around with a large diaper on and freely doing my business in it while playing Pinochle shakes me to the core. This is just another thing to worry about when you become older. Who cares if you got a stripper’s name tattooed on your arm that time you were drunk in Vegas? Now that you’re old, you’ve got real problems. Like the fact that you’re smiling, not because you won in Canasta, but because you just dropped a giant load and nobody knows about it.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
Balding is definitely something to worry about when you’re getting older, male or female. Even if your hair turns an unfortunate color of gray, at least the follicles have stuck with you in solidarity, and haven’t chosen to jump ship. The receding hairline that some seem to notice in their 20s will only begin to recede as time goes on, causing panic that sometimes results in the purchasing of a toupee. In addition to your hair turning its back on you, the awful pruney thing that happens to your skin when you stay in the bathtub too long will become permanent. Though the polite term for the wrinkles around your face are kindly referred to as “laugh lines”, they can’t be very humorous or enjoyable to have. I highly doubt the Unicorn tattoo you got on the inside of your wrist will be much of a concern when you’re poking and prodding your face in the mirror, wondering how this change in your body seemed to happen overnight.

Who Are You Again?
Going completely senile is something that is pretty terrifying yet can be a very common side-effect of getting older. I’m terrible at remembering who people are now, so I only know it’s going to get worse with age. Do tattoo cynics really think we’re even going to remember our tattoo, or what it means when we reach our late 80s and 90s? And are we really going to care? If we do, we’ll remember how bad ass it was to get it, and if we don’t we’ll get to make up a new story about what it is each time we’re asked. I look at that situation as a win-win, and better yet, it may sometimes even do so much as to allow us to reminisce on the time that we got it, and trigger a happy memory of the good old days. I really don’t think there’s anything negative about something that will allow us to look back fondly on the wonderful and full life that we’ve lived. Now…umm…wait. What were we talking about again?

Overall, to the people who constantly look down on tattoos and shake their head in fear of what we will do about those tattoos when we get older – relax. We’ve got it under control. Worst case scenario, we won’t know what the heck it is, which will present us with the opportunity to make something up, and best case scenario, we’ll mentally be able to transport back to the time we got it, what a great experience it was, and how we don’t regret it for a second. If that explanation doesn’t calm your fears, maybe this will: Kindly worry about your damn self, and let me enjoy my tattoos. Besides, have you ever actually seen an old person with a lot of tattoos? It’s pretty bad ass, and shows that they’ve probably got some incredible stories to tell.

Let’s be realistic on what’s worse: Having tattoos on your body when you’re 80, or sh*tting your pants in public? I say, get the ink.

Say Cheese: 8 Selfies You Hate To Admit You’ve Taken


Ahh, Selfies. You know your country is going somewhere when the term “Selfie” actually gets added to the Dictionary. The term taken from the Oxford Dictionary defines a Selfie as: “A photograph that one has taken of oneself, typically one taken with a smartphone or webcam and shared via social media.”

Well, we could have told you that. Since the explosion of social media, the Selfies have gotten more and more complex as people continue to up their photo-taking skills. From tones, to filters, to adjustments, we have the editing skills of a professional photographer at our fingertips, and taking a photo of ourselves has never been easier. I’m not even sure it’s possible to go one day without seeing some variation of a Selfie as they flood Instagram and Twitter feeds, and if we did go a day without seeing one, it would obviously be the first sign of the apocalypse

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5 Signs That Prove You’re “That Girl” During the Holidays


It’s no secret that I love the holidays. From Ugly Christmas Sweater parties, to ABC’s 25 Days of Christmas, I completely own the fact that I am obsessed with this festive season, and look forward to it more and more each year. Whether I’m belting Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You”, stringing lights (which translates into drinking wine and watching my Dad string lights), or strategically trying to pick out the perfect Christmas tree, I look forward to being able to fully immerse myself in the spirit of this season. The intensity of my holiday spirit is so apparent now, that I can actually just be labeled as “that girl” – The one who gets really involved in Christmas, so much so that it gets out of hand, slightly chaotic, and sometimes very annoying. The one who claps happily to herself each time she hears a “Chestnut” (which, according to Andy Williams, is a Christmas song that just gets better with age) and sings along in awful harmony with the tunes coming from the radio. The one who has already planned her “Christmas Eve” and “Christmas Day” outfits weeks in advance. Though it took me a while to realize I was a walking, talking holiday stereotype when it came to Christmas, I didn’t realize how bad I actually was, until now. If you’re wondering to yourself if you qualify as “that girl” during the holidays, here are some clues to help you out:

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